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Talk:Firestarter (2)/@comment-11518636-20150109010953
I'm just going to talk about my entire day because it sucked. So I woke up annoyed so thats not a good start to the day in the first place. My sister is getting scared to sleep in her own room, so she sleeps in my room, im MY bed. My sister sleeps diagonally, so i have to shift weirdly to sleep. Also sorry if this is tmi but im on my period so this is already making it uncomfortable to sleep. So when I woke up my neck and my back hurt, so I was already grumpy. Then I go to school and my best friend decided to tell me that she has a crush on my best guy friend, Luke. I love Luke (platonically), he is sweet and he is basically the white and male version of me, except he is nicer and more adorable than me.btw this is the same friend who tried force me to go to the mall and flirt with other guys, that arent daniel, I didnt do it though. Anyway, so this morning me and him were talking and she came in the conversation and she started flirting with him. So Luke is just like me personality wise, so he just got really awkward and uncomfortable and i could see it on his face because I have done that face and I know that feeling. So eventually, she walked away and when she walked away she put her butt up just so he could see her as and started strutting off. The poor guy just stood there distressed and then he looked at me and said "She likes me, doesn't she?" and I didn't answer so he just said "Well surprisingly, I dont like her. She is beautiful and all but she is really over the top and dramatic and she has almost no boundaries. I dont want to hurt her, at all though. I do not know how to handle this". I felt bad for him becaus he is sweet. Later, she asked him out and he rejwcted her. This is like a huge deal for her though because this is the first time she has been rejected and she has crushed on and dated a lot of guys. So she has just gone fucking insane. I cant phrase it any other way other than she went fucking insane, she texted me all about it and how she is so upset and how hurt she is and how she will make him like her and how dare he not like her. So I told her she cant make him like her and she snapped at me and like completely got mad at me and said I wasnt being sympathetic to her feelings. so she is mad at me, but whatever I have bigger problems. Josh has been snapchatting me stuff and all that and he has some funny stuff but ive never replied. So today at school he came up to me and he tried talking to me and I gave him short answers. Then at one point he just told me that he misses me and talking to me and all. I still cant forgive him for what he did to the girl and stuff. I miss the fun stuff we did, though. So it hurt hearing him say that, it hurt a lot. So then he held his hands out and asked for a hug and then I kept saying no and he kept saying "Come on, just one hug". Then he kept moving closer and his arms were around me but I wasnt hugging back and then at one point I just hugged him back. so after we hugged he just said "That felt good, im happy now" and he walked. So after that at first I felt good and happy, then a couple seconds later I felt awful and i felt sick to my stomach and grossed that I actually hugged and missed someone that did something so bad. Im still disgusted with myself, and I should be. I cant do that. So ive realized that with this josh thing I cant win and this situation is always going to make me feel bad. At least if i keep him out of my life I would be doing the right thing and that gives me a little joy. Okay I am done venting. Sorry this is so long.